Office Space Jam

First of all…if you have never seen the movie, Office Space, stop whatever the hell you are doing right now and go watch it!! It is a comedy, but it’s real….it’s so real. We (including myself saying “we”) often say things like “_______ never prepared me for the real world.” Would you like to be prepared? Go watch that movie right now. Besides the AMAZING soundtrack, here’s why:

 

1. You might be educated….but you still don’t “know”:

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2. You still struggle with confidence issues, especially when trying to “sell yourself” without seeming like a cocky asshole (especially when asked “what makes you different”):

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3. You will probably consider quitting and doing literally anything else:

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4. The older you get, the more uncomfortably inappropriate people are…yes, in a “professional environment,” too:

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5. When corporate bosses/consultants come in, they will tell you they want you to be “free,” and “creative,” and “express how you really feel”……THIS IS A TRAP! More than likely, they don’t:

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6. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS EVERYWHERE!!!

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7. You will have at least one job (probably more) that will make you a shell of a person/make you hate EVERYone:

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8. Yes, this will happen, too:

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9. Loyal, good people will steal your office supplies. Guard them with your life!!!

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10. There will ALWAYS be that one co-worker that has to comment on EVERYTHING. Worse, it seems like they might be trying to get a laugh?

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11. Office equipment is the worst (we really can’t update this 1980s model?):

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12. Corporate visits are like your parents saying “we need to talk,” even if you’ve done nothing wrong:

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13. Know the difference:

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14. You will feel fat being overly eager for “community food”:

Maudit animated GIF

 

15. But never…NEVER forget:

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Changing Faces

Let’s not call this a pulse point….but I feel like Bill Hader always has the best ways of expressing my emotions through a work day:

 

When someone won’t let a meeting end because of all of their “great ideas”:

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When the dramatic girl busts into my office to tell me how she just got “chewed out for being nice” and I’m trying to hide my distain for being interrupted and underwhelmed (spoiler: they didn’t chew her out….at all)

bill hader animated GIF

 

When she walks out:

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When turnover rates are already too high because of the plethera of overtime people work uncompensated, and corporate thinks we need to work on some of the holidays we are supposed to have off:

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When someone “jokes” that they could use a drink at an event:

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When the other new girl tells me it would be cute if we all wore “cute matching pink camo hats”:

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When someone tells me they can’t come to a meeting or function that has taken months to plan because of something trivial (I.e. “Isn’t there a thunderstorm that day? Is it safe to walk down the hall?”)

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When someone says something passive aggressive to me:

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When I leave for the day:

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