Office Space Jam

First of all…if you have never seen the movie, Office Space, stop whatever the hell you are doing right now and go watch it!! It is a comedy, but it’s real….it’s so real. We (including myself saying “we”) often say things like “_______ never prepared me for the real world.” Would you like to be prepared? Go watch that movie right now. Besides the AMAZING soundtrack, here’s why:

 

1. You might be educated….but you still don’t “know”:

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2. You still struggle with confidence issues, especially when trying to “sell yourself” without seeming like a cocky asshole (especially when asked “what makes you different”):

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3. You will probably consider quitting and doing literally anything else:

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4. The older you get, the more uncomfortably inappropriate people are…yes, in a “professional environment,” too:

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5. When corporate bosses/consultants come in, they will tell you they want you to be “free,” and “creative,” and “express how you really feel”……THIS IS A TRAP! More than likely, they don’t:

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6. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS EVERYWHERE!!!

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7. You will have at least one job (probably more) that will make you a shell of a person/make you hate EVERYone:

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8. Yes, this will happen, too:

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9. Loyal, good people will steal your office supplies. Guard them with your life!!!

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10. There will ALWAYS be that one co-worker that has to comment on EVERYTHING. Worse, it seems like they might be trying to get a laugh?

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11. Office equipment is the worst (we really can’t update this 1980s model?):

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12. Corporate visits are like your parents saying “we need to talk,” even if you’ve done nothing wrong:

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13. Know the difference:

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14. You will feel fat being overly eager for “community food”:

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15. But never…NEVER forget:

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The Truth About Depression

By this time, thousands of posts have been written about Robin Williams’ death. Most I’ve read are flawless. Some are tributes, but with a nuance I find disturbing….

I’m sure everyone (like me) wants to know “why.” It sucks, doesn’t it? This beautiful soul that bought laughter to millions across the world for decades. He’s seemingly touched everyone’s life in someway or another. The funniest man in the world. The king of laughs. One of a kind. A family member to us all.

Unfortunatly, I can’t tell you exactly why, but I would like to address some of the seemingly harmless statements I’ve heard. These statements lie in the gray area and often go unnoticed – because they aren’t meant to harm or to dispute character or are even meant disrespectful. But I have something to say; and I really do want to share some things about depression that I want people to know. Here are some statements I’ve heard following his death:

“You’re 63 with 3 children and seemingly SO much- you’d take your own life? you’re 63 man- finish this thing out!”

“I’m no longer a fan. I can’t forgive him for this”

“He’s so funny! Why would he do this?”

“He’s the last person on earth I thought would do this because his life is laughter!”

 First of all, let me start by assuming that anyone reading this doesn’t know me (probably true). I’m a 27 year old woman. I live in a very nice suburban home, came from a christian family, have true friends, have a wonderful companion in my husband, am educated, valued, a hard worker. I’ve been given many awards for both work and things like voted “most talented” and “most popular.” I’ve got it good.

I suffer from depression

It is, above all, a completely unfair and unexplainable disease. And that’s why NOTHING will ever explain Robin’s death, not even the Parkinson’s Disease, because it is unjust and cruel. It is a disease without reason. That’s why being 63 with 3 children doesn’t matter, and most of all, that’s why his humor didn’t have a damn thing to do with this. To the world, his humor was untouchable, but to Robin, it’s very possible that he felt he lost it.

It is a disease that consumes the mind. All of it – emotional, logical, ethical, creativity…ALL of it. It takes WHO you are. And when you get that low, you’re not thinking like you normally would be. I’ve been depressed enough to consider suicide as a viable option. When you’re in your good states, you don’t even recognize that part of yourself – it feels a little like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. But I’ve got to tell you, when you’re in your bad states, you don’t remember that. You feel like a burden on everyone’s life. You hate yourself when you see quotes that say things like “today, chose to be happy,” and you try…GOD, do you try….and you can’t. And because of that, you sink further down and hate yourself more.

“What is wrong with me?? Why can’t I just be good? Why can’t I just be happy?”

I’ve never cut myself, or actually attempted suicide. But I promise this thoughts are mental abuse on your own brain. and then comes the support: “You should get involved with a church group! That will make you feel better!” or “let’s get a drink! You’ll feel better!” or even the tougher ones “you’re a strong, capable, privileged woman. The bottom line is you have everything you could possible need. Get it together.”

“Yes…I do….then why do I feel like this? Why can’t I get out of it?”

You might even feel like you can fool yourself once and a while by “choosing” to be happy. It makes things worst. The monster is right there waiting for you when you take off the mask. It’s a disease of the mind. It controls you. It’s like a a bug caught in a spider’s web: the more you struggle to get away, the more it consumes you. If you stay alive, you’re still just struggling and stagnant. For those few moments I considered suicide as a viable option, I can’t explain it. All I can tell you is that in those moments, it felt like the best option. Maybe for the reason or not burdening anyone else with my problems, Maybe for not being “Debbie Downer” anymore, maybe for not hurting anymore (or worse, when you get past the point of hurting and into the place where you feel nothing), maybe for not having to see the people you love and care about be so hurt or helpless in your presence anymore. I can also tell you that in that “feel nothing” place, hurt turns into a good emotion, because it means that you feel something. That you are alive and human. The bottom line of it is that there is no. damn. reason. It’s a murder. It’s not you. It’s not who you really are. It’s something that’s hijacked you.

I am depressed. I am a great person. I am selfless. I serve other. I’ve seen counselors. I take medication. It doesn’t matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in full support of continuing the battle to fight the disease. But I can tell you as a person that has been doing it for over 10 years, it’s taxing, and it’s hard, and there’s very little hope of ever truly leaving it (cue “Hotel California” song).

PLEASE. For anyone out there struggling with this disease (and I say this for myself as well): FIGHT. Let Robin Wiliams be and inspiration of what happens after death. You are worth it. You are loved. You are loved and important.
To everyone else (and please note being sad and being depressed are different things), please have mercy. Please be understanding. You’re not expected to understand, and please don’t try to connect like you do. Just let the person know that you love them, that you don’t know what’s going on, but you will be right beside them the whole way while they figure it out. Please have mercy on those that have committed suicide. They were not in their right mind, they were more than likely trying to act selflessly instead of selfishly, it’s an impluse made or incorrect and delusional knowledge.

Let us all try to understand, even if we do not agree, before disposing because of judgement. It’s real. And I’m glad it’s being talked about. And I’m so very glad for Robin William’s life.

Shall We Call This Therapy?

Because I’m going ham on GIFS today (I apologize if that phase is out….but I can’t stop). I’m feeling particularly snarky about work today, so here’s a Pulse Point on being an Events Manager:

How I feel when the newbies are telling me they’re not having much “fun” at their assigned job and want to do something else:

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When they tell me we need to add another event to the calendar:

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When I realize JUST how ignorant some of the “professionals” I’m surrounded by are:

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when I walk in to my office:

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When one of the co-workers I do like and I talk:

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When someone who knows NOTHING of struggle talks to me about their “stuggle”:

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When someone’s lack of planning pushes us managers into an emergency state:

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When I leave work:

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Pulse Point (Vol. 2)

Wedding planning has slowed down….but I want to do another pulse point..because they’re fun and therapeutic! 🙂

 

This is how I feel when someone (specifically women) tells me something three times in teh same sentence:

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This is how I feel when I make a funny joke or a bad pun and Jason doesn’t laugh:

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This is how I feel when I reach the point that I realize I am overwhelmed (PS. I never have, currently do not, and never will do cocaine):

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How I feel when someone constantly asks my opinion and I really don’t care:

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How I feel when I try to get crafty:

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How I feel when someone is being a butthead and I lawyer them:

 

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How I feel (and look) when I get a brilliant idea:

 

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How I feel (and look) when I scroll through my Facebook mini feed:

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