Pulse Point VI

where I express my feelings through the art of gifs:

When my stepdaughter tells me a kid on the playground wouldn’t let her play with them:

How I feel when I go to watch TV with my husband, and he’s mindlessly watching whatever is on ESPN:

Cheezburger animated GIF

How I feel anyone associated with the Royals franchise feels (I’m from KC, I can say that):

idk animated GIF

When I run out of my ADHD medicine:

winnie the pooh animated GIF

When I learned that you should wear gloves when cutting jalepenos:

How I think when people say “let Jesus take the wheel”:

When people put up snarky signs in the workplace:

When I walk in stilettos:

31 GIFs That Will Make You Laugh Every Time

How I feel about dancing like no one is watching:

31 GIFs That Will Make You Laugh Every Time

when people leave “community food” in the break room:

31 GIFs That Will Make You Laugh Every Time

and one more ‘cuz it’s FRIDAY, Y’ALL!!!!!!!!

Pulse Point V

If you’re new here, this is me checking in with my feelings through the art of gifs (I love you, internet). One day I will write something with some gumption….

 

When someone makes a passive aggressive cut at me:

mlb animated GIF

 

When I’m at work (particularly this week)

dog animated GIF

 

When I’m trying to be a cool, respectable adult  – boss status

mash up animated GIF

 

When a coworker tells me “someones got a case of the Mondays” or brings a major problem to my office before 10am

insult animated GIF

 

When it’s summer in Arkansas (except  not in this location…because eff snakes)

party animated GIF

 

When someone “gets it”:

basketball animated GIF

 

When I walk my beagle:

dogs animated GIF

 

When someone purposely takes up two parking spots in a crowded parking lot:

fire animated GIF

 

When my husband asks where the Doritos are:

kanye west animated GIF

 

When my husband tells me he ate all the Doritos…and threw away the remaining cheese dust:

sad animated GIF

 

 

Happy Weekend, mother lovers!

 

Changing Faces

Let’s not call this a pulse point….but I feel like Bill Hader always has the best ways of expressing my emotions through a work day:

 

When someone won’t let a meeting end because of all of their “great ideas”:

snl animated GIF

 

When the dramatic girl busts into my office to tell me how she just got “chewed out for being nice” and I’m trying to hide my distain for being interrupted and underwhelmed (spoiler: they didn’t chew her out….at all)

bill hader animated GIF

 

When she walks out:

bill hader animated GIF

 

When turnover rates are already too high because of the plethera of overtime people work uncompensated, and corporate thinks we need to work on some of the holidays we are supposed to have off:

reaction animated GIF

 

When someone “jokes” that they could use a drink at an event:

bill hader animated GIF

 

When the other new girl tells me it would be cute if we all wore “cute matching pink camo hats”:

snl animated GIF

 

When someone tells me they can’t come to a meeting or function that has taken months to plan because of something trivial (I.e. “Isn’t there a thunderstorm that day? Is it safe to walk down the hall?”)

bill hader animated GIF

 

When someone says something passive aggressive to me:

saturday night live animated GIF

 

When I leave for the day:

snl animated GIF

 

 

A Post about a Hook

So…for the most part, I’m an adult now. By that, I mean I’m a 27 year-old homeowner, with a respectable job, that still laughs at “that what she said” and fart jokes. But let’s face it, they’re hilarious. I am also a 90s child. I love it. I love that we are bringing the 90s fashion is back. And just WAIT til that floral pattern for home decor comes back (ya better check ya’self before you wreck ya’self, chevron pattern!). Also…still waiting on my beanie baby collection to have value again…I will be SO rich.

rich animated GIFHolla, Richie Rich!

Back to 2014 for a second, I LOVE Emma Stone. And I really love that people tell me I look like her instead of Lindsey Lohan now. But sadly, after she straight up obliterated Jimmy Fallon in a lip-sync battle, I no longer feel worthy of comparison. Aside from her mad skills and overall awesomeness, she sang one of my FAVORITE songs- “The Hook” by Blues Traveler

Weird thing about this song, it was popular circa ’94, which put me at 7 years old (SWEET BABY JESUS…I just realized that song is 20 years old this year! whhaaaaa. Aging is for the birds). That’s right, a 7 year old jamming Blues Travelers…I was a cool kid. 

Except for one moment. I’ve know every word to the song since then, but I have never PROCESSED the words until my girl, Emma, battled it out. And I will be darned if that mindlessness isn’t what the song is about!

 

“It doesn’t matter what I say / So long as I sing with inflection /
That makes you feel that I’ll convey / Some inner truth of vast reflection / But I’ve said nothing so far / And I can keep it up for as long as it takes / And it don’t matter who you are / If I’m doing my job then it’s your resolve that breaks
/ Because the hook brings you back / I ain’t tellin’ you no lie
/ The hook brings you back
/ On that you can rely”

 

My face..wait for it:

christopher lloyd animated GIF

and I felt a lot like this.

I’ve been tricked. Now, y’all…one of my better qualities is that I’m a pretty witty lass. I over-think things and I’m fantastic with detail. So this realization caught me a bit off guard…how much mindlessness passes through me every day?

Don’t worry, this isn’t a “deep” post or anything, but I thought I’d throw that out there because I thought if ANYone would feel me, the internet would feel me. Help me. What other songs do this? 

 

On a Serious Note…

I’m going off the cuff from my ordinary humorous tone, to ask you all for your help:

As some of you may know, my blog title is  a pun from the Arkansas state motto, “The Natural State.” You may or may not be aware that an unofficial F5 tornado rummaged through Central Arkansas last night, and this is the first time in almost 10 years I couldn’t be there to help.

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I realize numerous tornadoes and natural disasters upset hundreds and thousands of people every year, this post is in NO WAY to diminish what you all are going through out there; I am merely speaking what I know, and hope you do the same (God forbid) when/if your community is affected. This is my home state. This is where my heart is. I have actually already come across two homes that my friends used to live in (the no longer do) that have been destroyed – homes in which I have stood and celebrated. With all walls down, I’m feeling lost.

t6

1

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If I am feeling this way, I cannot even FATHOM the 1st person view from the videos I’ve seen – the woman screaming and whistling for her dog outside of her destroyed home while tears are rolling down her face; the 17 (and counting) people who have lost their lives and their families; the friends and family of those who still  cannot reach people and are desperate for answers, the loss of everything you have and countless years of everything you’ve worked for gone:

t5

t

Here’s where I’m asking you to pay attention: As bad as the images above are, there are some beautiful, beautiful things happening in this resilient state. My old church has been one of the few volunteer groups allowed into this disaster area:

10 9 12

They made lunches for several hundreds of people in the area – each with a handwritten note of encouragement to the recipient (they are using #SERVErelief on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to follow them)

8 5 4

These incredible communities are showing ASTOUNDING resilience, hope, and courage.

I’m asking your help – Don’t say you can help, you can:

1. If you pray, pray for these communities, the families, the first responders, the volunteers, the answers, and most of all, divine peace over the matter.

2. If you can donate money, donate money. You can donate to the American Red Cross. (Also, we have already found one scam that raised $10,000 and was fortunately caught before it was collected. PLEASE be educated and careful). Samaritans Purse is another organization that has been highly praised in similar situations.

3. The American Red Cross has gathered some pushback over the years (I cannot speak educationally about the subject and in no way am condemning the organization) – BUT, if you are not comfortable with this, please consider local organizations and local churches. ANY of them will help but here is the church I spoke of earlier.

4. If you are in the area, and able to provide in-kind donations, here are some supplies needed: (from New Life Church) “If you are looking for ways to help with Tornado Relief, we are currently needing supplies: toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, new socks & underwear for kids, men & women, sunscreen, tarps, etc. Drop off at GLR or Conway New Life Church locations NLC.Conway New Life Church.” New Life Church is also host to the Arkansas Dream Center

5. Also if you are in the area, PLEASE, PLEASE consider fostering found pets until their owners can be found! If you are looking for updates on pets you can find them here and here (the latter is the organization that helped me find my dog when she was lost)

6. Donate AND spread awareness with this t-shirt. 100% of profits go to relief efforts. I have loved this company for a LONG time, their t-shirts and great, and they do so much for our community!

7. Stay informed with social media: Here is one Facebook page I have found set up to assist the Mayflower community

8. If you are someone you love has been affected by a tornado, here is a highly rated post of a victim paying in forward: “Dear friends here are few things I wished we had known immediately following the tornado to do.  1: call insurance company. 2: call a restoration/water removal company to come in and remove anything left to clean, itemize & store your belongings. 3: ask your insurance company to find you a temporary place to live ASAP. This is in your policy. 4: take pictures of EVERYTHING LEFT!! Take hundreds before you remove anything.  5: cancel all utilities. 6:go to relief centers & get clothing, food, toys etc. 7: register with FEMA 8: BUY TUBS TO PUT THINGS IN YOU NEED IMMEDIATELY.  9: board up what’s left of your home if the restoration companies can’t get to you immediately. 10: do not be afraid to ask, seek & beg for help!”

Someone also commented that you might get a binder to organize your files, and contact your bank for what you can do to protect your accounts.

I implore you to help in anyway you can. Even if all you can do is pray or send good vibes or words of encouragement – it makes a difference! I would also like to encourage each and every one of you to prepare yourself for these storms.  I highly recommend the “Tornado – American Red Cross” app. It includes tips for preparing for a tornado, as well as a warning system that will go off if a tornado warning is issued for your area.

Thank you for tuning in, internet. As always, you’re awesome. Stay that way.

t4

Pulse Point IV

Because I’m feelin’ it….

When I prepare to eat…almost anything….and we’re out of ketchup/ranch dressing

Utter Disbelief

When I’m on Facebook and I see someone post something that defies every bit of who they really are:

abr

When the sushi chef hands me my sushi plate:

James Franco

When someone snaps an unnecessary, rude/condescending comment to me:

John Wayne is sick of your shit

When I’m talking to pretentious people for business purposes:

5NbDIOS

When “This Is How We Do It” comes on

House Party Dance

When the bubbly girl in the office is sucking up to our boss:

Big Whoop

When someone tells me I can’t dance:

Confused Lion King

psshh…I know I’m fly…..

have a lovely weekend!

Back by…well probably not popular demand

OK…so here’s my updates in a nutshell:

-I am one month and 1 day away from being a wife and official Texarkana resident (Mrs. Ross?!?)

-I have every intention of at LEAST weekly posts, I really do!…but…

-I was recently laid off from my job, immediately, my boss was not informed of it, and I even won a performance award that morning…. I hit an all time low. I also threw all my efforts into job hunting. Unfortunately, I’m relocating (earlier than planned, mind you), and moving from a town of about 150K to about 50K over two states (Texarkana rides the line of Texas and Arkansas). I can’t even go into the amount of unfortunate problems I’ve hit.

-I am fortunate to still keep in contact with the greatest Boss/Director/Feminist/Friend/Leader I’ve ever been fortunate enough to know. Although I called her for career advice (girlfriend has received national awards), she interupted me: “Ok, Lauren, You are saying everything positive and I can still hear the depression in you voice. I was once in your shoes and the best advice I ever received was fake it. I don’t care how your feeling, smile. Find something to focus your attention on, not this job, not the wedding, YOU, because your job and your wedding will never show how great you are if you’re in a bad place – and you are great, but you’ve got to hold on get it together for that to REALLY show. THAT is what makes you unique.” Incredible advice. she suggested I get a manicure and facial but HEY no job! Yay! Instead, I had one last good cry. I remembered how confident and innovative I was when I worked for her, and was determined to get myself back there. So I gave myself an at home spa night, movie with my boyfriend (fiance or husband…he’s always my boyfriend), had a good breakfast, had a great morning workout, DETAILED the house, and am trying to find things I love again (I’m forcing myself to blog right now, but I do love to write). 

 

So there’s that, it should explain why I’ve been M.I.A. I have done a TON to the house, but in order to keep the blogging momentum going, I’m going to break it up. Hopefully tomorrow will be full of pictures of before and after and what’s still left to do (which should leave plenty of posts). Promise things are going to get better, but I’ve got to prioritize. See you soon! Thanks for staying with me!